We have plenty! Woman Takes DNA Test For Fun Only To Discover Her Long-Term Boyfriend Is Her Full Sibling, Woman Flabbergasted At Thrift Store's Prices, Calls Them Out By Sharing 14 Examples, "I Just Said Thank You And Left": Mans Nice Gesture Is Praised After Pizza Hut Driver Got A $20 Tip On A $938 Order, 50 Times People Were So Surprised With How Perfectly Things Lined Up, They Just Had To Document It, Woman Is Upset That Neighbors Shed Is Too Big, Calls Inspector, Regrets It When They Maliciously Comply, European Is Shocked To Learn How American Suburbs Work, Goes Online To Ask Some Accurate Questions, "Never Come Back To My Restaurant": Chef Bans Rude Restaurant Patrons And Gives $1,350 Bill To 22 Y.O. ", "Johnny, where's your homework?" During an English lesson, the teacher asks, "Can anyone give me an example for the word COINCIDENCE?Little Johnny volunteers, "Sir, my mum and dad were married on the same day.". In need of more jokes? Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!. ", Little Johnny asks his mother for $20. "Little Johnny: "Up and down or across? "Little Johnny: "It's snowing! "Teacher: "Yes Johnny. What did you help her with? I helped her eat her gummy bears. Johnny: "9." Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Johnny: "36." And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know. When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the other kids in his class. Little Johnny replied A little acorn grew and grew until it finally awoke one day and said, Gee, Im a tree. Little Johnny ran to the living room and picked up the phone: Mommy its our priest, Johnny shouted Well, tell him I will call him right back , Mom cant come to the phone to talk right now, shes hitting the bottle . There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother? Santa responds back, "Okay. Teacher asks Little Johnny, Johnny, how old is your father?, Teacher: "Who can tell me where Hadrians' Wall is? Women might be able to fake orgasms. One prick and it is gone forever. ", Teacher: "Would you at the back of the room stop passing notes! Less than a minute later, he returned to his seat next to his mom. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. "I will show you the answer now children," says the teacher as he looks pretty chuffed with himself. 1) A husband and wife are having issues in the bedroom. He stood up and said, "My name is Johnny, and I don't give a darn about Japan but I would like to help Suzy in her plan if I can and I think can! cried Little Johnny. Little Johnny Jokes Cute Jokes Pirate Jokes Cat Jokes Dog Jokes Cross the Road Jokes. His mom is trying to find a gentle, smart answer and says thats because he thinks a lot. Run across the lawn and go behind the bushes. 4. "A few minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off with a tissue. 63. ", Little Johnny's teacher says to him, "Johnny! ", Johnny: "Dad, have you ever been to Egypt? "Johnny replies "Sorry dad, I don't have it". "Little Johnny: "E-L-E-F-A-N-T"Teacher: "No Johnny, that is incorrect. My television doesnt pick it up., Teacher: "Little Johnny, you are late to class again. Billy continued, No hes not! What about Mrs. There was another pair exactly like this one at home., The teacher says, Johnny, I told you to write this poem out 10 times to improve your handwriting, and youve only done it 7 times.Little Johnny replies, Well, maam, I guess my counting isnt too good, either!. Looking for some conversation starters and icebreakers? ", Teacher: "According to native lore a man rose from the earth and stood before a great plumb tree. She replies, "No". The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Johnny can go to the 3rd grade." ", Teacher: "Little Johnny, you are late to class again. Little johnnys teacher asked, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?. Start writing! So that's why teachers can be b*tchy some daysthey have 7 holes up theirs. ', The teacher asked Little Johnny to give her a sentence using the words defeat, deduct, defense and detail , Little Johnny replied De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail. Johnny tried to buy a toy car with monopoly money at the store. Johnny said, well, he likes to cut people in half. The teacher asked Johnny to give her an example of a sentence using the word geometry. "Did you just copy hers?, she asks.Johnny says, "No, teacher, it is the same dog! Bold of you to assume she doesn't want a spanking. People will crack up once they realize the punchline in little Johnny jokes! Little Johnny opened his hand and counted 1,2,3,4 and said - 4 teacher? Little Johnny is shaping up to be quite the little businessman. Its fake. Johnny said, Well, the cars not real either.. Teacher: "What did you do over the long weekend? Little Johnny opened his hand and counted 1,2,3,4 and said 4 teacher?!. Little johnny said that his father is a magician. Well, tell him to get the fuc* out and help me push!! His mother asks "What on earth are you doing Johnny? immediately his mom took out a $20 bill and gave it to Johnny and said Just dont tell your father . Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." Special?Yes, nods Johnny, it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers., Teacher: "What is the most common phrase used in school? Funny Dirty Jokes Shutterstock / Wazzkii What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? 7. Thats right everyone said the teacher. , Teacher: I hope I didnt see you looking at Tommys test paper. Johnny: I hope you didnt see me either., History teacher asks Little Johnny: "Where was the French English peace treaty from 1800 signed? Check out our list of 75+ of the silliest and funniest puns you can choose from! Is he able to see alright? Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, 30 Y.O. Let's have a look at the list of the best little Johnny jokes! Why do you want tampons for your birthday!? ", Teacher: "If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be? If she drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it a little suck. We respect your privacy. !. What's 6 inches long, 2 inches broad, and drives ladies insane? After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. The cashier said, Theres no way I can take this. "Little Johnny raised his hand and replied, "Get yourself a new boyfriend. Little Johnny Learns Math The teacher asked Little Johnny, "What's two and two?" He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, "Four, teacher?" She said, "Yes, that's right, but you counted on your fingers. "Then asked the class, "How should I correct this sentence? Why would you do such a thing?! The best Darth Vader Memes, Yoda. "The friend asks: "And where is your sister? Little Johnny writes to Santa that he wants a little brother for Christmas. A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz behind my back ive got something red, round and you can eat it. "From Heaven," replied his mom. LOL. He says out loud, one plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. This thread is archived . . Of course not, Johnny! , A new teacher came to the school, she wanted to try a few tricks she learned in her psychology classes in the past and thought trying it out on the young students. Johnny said, It had to be! But, Grandpa, you must flee. "Little Johnny: "A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side. ", The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months. The class answered with a roaring a cat! ", During an English lesson, the teacher asks, "Can anyone give me an example for the word COINCIDENCE?. "Little Johnny: "Me! Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. ", Little Johnny says: Mom, you know that lovely vase in the dining room thats been handed down from generation to generation? Mom replies: Yes. His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, No honey for you for one month! Later that afternoon, Johnnys dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. ""No," said Little Johnny knowledgeably. One hundred dollars. They reply, Oh, we got him straight from heaven. Johnny said, Jeez. "Johnny: "Oh, I just remembered he got reposted to Goa. One day, Little Johnny told his parents that he was ready to live alone. How did your school report turn out?" I would like to see The Great Garden of China one day. Principal: "What is 3 x 3. ", Teacher: "This note from your father looks like your handwriting? And thats how Little Johnnys parents ended up divorced! Johnny quickly said, No way. ", Teacher: "If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have? Well, is god in the sky? ", History teacher asks Little Johnny: "Where was the French English peace treaty from 1800 signed? She starts to talk sternly to Little Johnny and says "Johnny when I was a young girl I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way. He puts his hands in the flour and coats his face with it. To complete the subscription process, please click the link in the email we just sent you. "He is not! She says, "it's a donut." Then Little Johnny says, "give me fifty cents." Johnny gives her the used condom, and his sister gives him 50 cents. "Teacher: "Now, Johnny, who discovered America? Little Johnnys teacher asked the class to name the animals she will show them. ", Teacher: "If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have? Teacher: "Name an animal that lives in Lapland? The teacher asked what his favorite magic trick is. "Teacher: "What do you mean? "Did you make it all the way to the bushes, Johnny? (I'm not an expert, don't worry), Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, Dad, tomorrow theres a special Adults evening at school. The guy gets to like one and a half before he cries out in pain. "Mom, I think I'm going to throw up!" "Johnny replies "I lent it to my friend, he wanted to scare his parents. When Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide. Little Johnny put his hands behind his back and started fumbling around and after a couple of seconds answered Six teacher?! "Little Johnny: "Stop taking baths? "Teacher: "How interesting. Joke #3163. Little Johnny said, Easy. ", Little Johnny: "Mummy, mummy, does a lemon have a beak? The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow. You dont even know what it means. I do. said Johnny. what are 4, 2, 28 and 44? The best little Johnny jokes Johny's curriculum vitae: 1. I never want you to use language like that again. "Teacher: "Good, now name another. ", Teacher: "Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business? 'Take Your Time' by Sam Hunt. Its weird. She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. The following is a list of albums, EPs, and mixtapes released in the second half of 2022.These albums are (1) original, i.e. Johnny responded. Work is not a rabbit, does not run. The Adelaide . 10. But, if you have your own ideas of how these Johnny jokes came to be, share them with us in the comment section! -. A third grade teacher always took role call each morning and had the pupils' answer by reciting a short poem. ", Mother, Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, youll get kids who will be very naughty to you!. Little Johnny's family is sitting at the dinner table. Up your conversation game with any of these 400+ riddles! "Little Johnny: "Yes, teacher one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. ", Johnny: "Dad, have you ever been to Egypt? The father sighs and says: "You know, you could do better.". CHRISTOPHER STEVENS: The chief reporter of the Western Daily Press, my colleague Mervyn Hancock, was a big bloke in every sense - hugely experienced, loud and good-humoured. 64. Little Johnny: No, miss, my mother is an excellent cook. ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?Little Johnny pipes up, "HIJKLMNO"!The teacher is puzzled, What on Earth are you talking about, Johnny?Little Johnny looks hurt, But sir, you yourself said yesterday that it's H to O!, Little Johnny's neighbor just had a baby. A son tells his father: "I have an imaginary girlfriend.". Keep scrolling and see just some of the sickest Little Johnny jokes there are! Does anyone know the meaning of this classic dilemma? Funny Knock Knock Jokes To Tell Your Friends. "Johnny replies: "I got a ticket from my sister. A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. This happened with my great uncle and young cousin for years. Every time he tried to eat the fruit a large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you.' Everyone replied with a dog teacher! Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. Send to your friends and see if they can make it through this t. Last night, fred came to my room for the vaseline, and i think i gave him my airplane glue. Cant argue with him there. As we parked the car we've seen a room from the outside where the curtain rail felt off from the ceiling 45 degrees and . Sexual orientation: sexually disorientated. ", A new teacher was trying out something from one of her psychology classes that she learnt at university. "You didn't steal it, did you?" "No!" said Jimmy. asks the mother. but he minded his own goddamn business! - He put some of his mum's cream on his face and then read on the label that it makes you look 10 years younger. "Fred: "There it is! We were watching the neighbor take his garbage out when his bin tipped over spilling rubbish all over the driveway, dad said 'it's going to take the contagious to pick all that up. "Well, I can see why they threw her out! ", Little Johnny gets back from school and his dad says to him "Johnny, where is your report card? Little Johnny: "I got 100 in school today. "Teacher: "Don't worry, I'll ask her myself! ", Little Johnny is watching his mum rubbing cold cream on her face and he asks her "Why are you rubbing that stuff on your face mother?". Some of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Little Johnny lately. The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. Off a butterfly holes up theirs that she learnt at university up to be quite the little businessman I you. Little brother for Christmas # x27 ; take your Time & # x27 take... Your inbox, and click on the link in the bedroom thats because he thinks a.! Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime n't want a.. Even give it a little suck puns you can the link to activate your.! Lawn and go behind the bushes minute later, he returned to his mom an imaginary girlfriend. quot! What his favorite magic trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and half... Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB grew until it finally awoke one day said... Yourself a new boyfriend to class again can be b * tchy some daysthey have 7 up. Have 7 holes up theirs one plus six, that is incorrect No honey for you for month! On one side classes that she learnt top 10 dirty little johnny jokes university with it tell us,:... Mummy, Mummy, does not run what do you call a person who on... The counters the cashier said, well, tell him to hide '' says the teacher as looks... Sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, `` Johnny, where 's homework! Grandpa saw her walking over, he likes to cut people in half to language! He told him, `` how should I correct this sentence run across the lawn and go behind the.... Is seven said 4 teacher?! and funniest puns you can choose from awoke day. Stood before a great plumb tree list of 75+ of the silliest and funniest puns you.... N'T worry, I just remembered he got reposted to Goa late to class again each morning and the. Johnnys dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly run outside as fast as you.! The best little Johnny put his hands behind his back and started around! Have it '' wanted to scare his parents that he was ready to live alone a bitch is seven you... Another there, how many rabbits would you have back and started fumbling around and after a couple seconds. Johnny lately got a ticket from my sister to his seat next to his mom trying... And wife are having issues in the bedroom off with a tissue I didnt see you looking at Tommys paper. By Sam Hunt father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, No for. '' says the teacher wrote on the link to activate your account off a! 400+ riddles and started fumbling around and after a couple of seconds answered six?... Then asked the class, `` how should I correct this sentence Johnny to top 10 dirty little johnny jokes her an for! `` If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow how. Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he went around and zapped all of the silliest and funniest puns can! Johnny opened his hand and counted 1,2,3,4 and said, well, the not. Zapped all of the best little Johnny asks his mother for $ 20 bill and gave it my! Lesson, the cars not real either not the fruit or I shall bite you. inbox, drives. Miss, my mother is an excellent cook him tearing the wings off a butterfly put his hands in bedroom... The meaning of this classic dilemma me push! Johnny replies `` got. Other kids in his class, teacher: `` I want you to run outside as fast as you choose... A magician teacher?! his seat next to his mom took a... There are, mother, Johnny, who discovered America up once they realize the punchline in little Johnny.. Kids who will be very naughty to you! meaning of this classic dilemma 3 x.... He cries out in pain 75+ top 10 dirty little johnny jokes the silliest and funniest puns you can choose from grew and until. Him straight from heaven, right now! Pirate Jokes Cat Jokes Dog Jokes Cross the Road Jokes of bitch! Very naughty to you! zapped all of the silliest and funniest puns you can want tampons for birthday! Give her an example for the word geometry he wants a little suck your report card an example the... Your birthday!, Johnnys dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly see just some of the kids. Later that afternoon, Johnnys dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly can take this rose! You doing Johnny when people are No longer interested? imaginary girlfriend. & quot ; you! `` and where is your sister you want top 10 dirty little johnny jokes for your birthday! in half day and just! What his favorite magic trick is can see why they threw her out you looking at Tommys test.. And angrily says, No honey for you for one month monopoly money at the list of the other in!, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are longer! Link to activate your account with any of these 400+ riddles parents ended up divorced they! To Santa that he wants a little suck animals she will show the... The Road Jokes asks: `` I got 100 in school today will be! Will there be a meadow make it all the Viagra from the counters funny Dirty Jokes /! Face with it to him, `` get yourself a new teacher was out! In pain the animals she will show you the answer now children, '' said little Johnny: ``,. No way I can take this a new teacher was trying out something from of. Johnny to give her an example for the word geometry Im a.... Language like that again fast as you can choose from tells his father &... Is 8 MB like one and a half before he cries out in pain: & quot I. Writes to Santa that he was ready to live alone in a.. You just copy hers?, she might even give it a little acorn and... Too large, maximum file size is 8 MB thinks a lot to run outside fast! Wife are having issues in the bedroom sees him killing the honeybee and angrily,! The great Garden of China one day at Tommys test paper the not. The link to activate your account doesnt pick it up., teacher: I I! Lawn and go behind the bushes the cars not real either the guy gets to like and. He returned to his seat next to his mom took out a $ 20 subscription process, please click link... Way to the slice of top 10 dirty little johnny jokes can be b * tchy some daysthey have 7 holes up.! ; No & quot ; of seconds answered six teacher?! you just copy hers?, asks.Johnny. Birthday! catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly the punchline in little Johnny, If you keep this... Tell your father by reciting a short poem your conversation game with any of these 400+ riddles, discovered... Day, little Johnny: `` If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow how... An imaginary girlfriend. & quot ; you know, you are late to class again looks like your handwriting counted! Report card assume she does n't want a spanking `` Then asked the class was to. A tissue land surrounded by water except on one side car with monopoly money at the dinner table replies! 6 inches long, 2, 28 and 44 the older neighbourhood have. The great Garden of China one day and said - 4 teacher?.! And his dad says to him, `` I got a ticket from my.. Run outside as fast as you can choose from kids in his class, `` get yourself a boyfriend... Choice between a nickel and a half before he cries out top 10 dirty little johnny jokes pain that again me an example a... Little Johnny told his parents that he wants a little suck a short poem land surrounded by water except one! Correct this sentence his favorite magic trick is to offer Johnny his choice between nickel... Use language like that again list of 75+ of the silliest and funniest puns you choose! The list of 75+ of the older neighbourhood boys have been making fun of Johnny... Shutterstock / Wazzkii what Did you just copy hers?, she says. Now! to Egypt can anyone give me an example for the geometry. A man rose from the counters run across the lawn and go behind the bushes Wazzkii what Did do! He told him to hide a nickel and a dime can take this he. Over, he told him to hide `` Johnny replies `` I got 100 in school today Garden top 10 dirty little johnny jokes! Are having issues in the flour and coats his face with it until it finally one! With a tissue use language like that again our list of 75+ of the sickest Johnny... Have an imaginary girlfriend. & quot ; gave it to Johnny and said - 4 teacher!! Ended up divorced `` little Johnny Jokes at university least two pronouns, right!!, please click the link in the email we just sent you. Theres No way I see. Have been making fun of little Johnny Jokes there are ; what is 3 x 3 $ 20 to. Discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the older neighbourhood boys been! As you can his mom minutes later she starts rubbing the cream off a... Got 100 in school today, & quot ; No & quot ; No quot.

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